Recently social media and I have been frenemies. I know in some crazy way I need her to stay around, but on the other hand she makes me feel less than all the time. Okay it’s not really social media but what it displays. Every day I’m reminded I’m not her… I’m not the perfect package. I’m not the well-dressed mother, who has abs, a perfect smile, holding a cup of coffee chasing after my dog, in name brand shoes, while getting off a jet from doing my dream job just on Wednesdays that allows me to travel the world with my partner who also works his dream job, and we both are vegans who grow our own food just on our balcony in our luxury apartment that overlooks a photo worthy park. Whew! Social media is the devil! If you are trying to run a business, you need it. If you are making something to sell, you need it. If you are trying to make friend, you need it. If you are looking for something to do in your city, you need it. If you are just bored, you find it. If you are dating, you require it. If you are a person who is living in today’s modern age you are going to click just once. But no one ever really tells the truth, and if they do… well you don’t know them, because they are not “her.” Who is her? She is the chick who is just better at it than you. We all know the girl who does exactly what you dream of, and seems to do it with ease. She’s making a living doing your dream job. She posts perfect photos all the time with heartwarming captions and never misspells anything. She makes you feel like you have no fucking clue of who you are, and what you want. But you just can’t not click, you can’t just delete her. Why? Why do we all keep doing this to ourselves? You pay the bill on this device that seems to control your life, and somehow you let it dictate your feelings, your worth, and your limits. Why? I can’t say why really, but I can tell you WE ALL are that girl to someone. At this very moment, someone else is looking at your photos wishing they had your life. Your shape. Your smile. Your plants. Your essence. She believes you are just better at it then her, but the reality is we all are just trying. We all are just moving through life like dust particles bouncing off anything we don’t stick to. No one is better than anyone. Some folks just stick quicker.
If you’ve been feeling down on yourself let me be the first to tell you; you are not alone. You are living, breathing and experiencing life. It is okay to question what is happening. It is okay to feel like you need to do more, but only on your terms. Do not let the monster of Social Media control your magic, because we all have our very own individual magic. We’re all snowflakes. We all are here for a reason, and maybe your reason isn’t meant to pop over social media, just maybe you are greater than that.
Here’s a helpful list to make sure you stop questioning your own magic and start believing in you.
1. Power Down! – Turn your phone off sometimes. No, really, let it go dead. You’d be surprised how great you feel to actually be present in your life. To really smell the trees, and watch the clouds move by. Enjoy your cup of coffee without having to tell some weirdo where you are drinking it at. I’d suggest at least 2 hours a day turn your phone off. Yes. You might miss something, but you might also gain a better version of yourself.
2. Unfollow! – If someone continuously makes you feel bad about yourself just unfollow them. Who cares if they check? That makes them the crazy one. You don’t owe anyone anything. NO ONE! Make sure your feed inspires you not breaks you down. Would you go to a restaurant the keeps throwing your food on the floor when you order? So why keep someone around (even virtually) that keeps making you feel less than?
3. Know it’s all made up! No one gets up in the morning with a full face on. No one vacations all the damn time. No women gets up at 5am to sit quietly with her tea while her 5 kids sleep peacefully and her husband makes breakfast. LIES! Take social media for what it is… ENTERTAINMENT! It’s a scripted sitcom that everyday people create. Know that behind that perfect photo they took 100 of them first. Know that her leggings are sponsored and unlike you who can wear what you want, she has to post that perfect photo to pay for the cup of coffee you poured in the comforts of your home with no pants on.
4. Go out with your “real” friends. Sometimes folks get so caught up in make believe land that you forget you actually have real living and breathing friends that love you, that enjoy your stories, love your cooking, and value your friendship. Set plans and enjoy each other, support each other, and grow together. I find the more I see my friends the better I feel and the better they seem to feel to. You’d be surprised what a sister circle will do for your confidence.
5. Be Grateful! I cannot say this enough, be grateful for the life you do have, because really someone else is just hoping to be you! Even the smallest victories matter. Even if you want more, work harder, or dream bigger be present to the current beauty in your life. Really think about if it went away… would you be lost? Disappointed? Devastated? So then smile, you’re lucky.
6. Embrace your magic! You are here for a reason. The universe makes no mistakes. What social media fails to do is illuminate the idea that we all are stars in our own right. Not everyone can be the Sun. We never see the Moon and the stars yelling about, “look at me too!” We never see Jupiter talking about, why everyone telling stories about Venus? And it’s simply because they all know they play a vital role in the creation of our universe. That they all are here for a reason, and maybe no one understands that reason, but it is clear there is a higher reason. Embrace the idea that you are fucking magical, and that no one can EVER be YOU! That no one can steal your shine because all our lights shine differently. That even if you think she’s just better at it than you, you just aren’t giving yourself credit for what you’re better at. Love you! Live you! Be the amazing you! She isn’t better at anything, she is just different and that’s cool.
I hope that this helps anyone feeling less than know you are greatness and until you start believing it no one else will. Don’t compare yourself to her, because you are HER to someone.
Love, Light & Fucking Magic: